`Author:` [[Rebecca Solnit]] > [!info] > ## Summary The Faraway Nearby (2013) is Rebecca Solnit's exploration of the forms of love and connection that exist outside romantic partnership. Framed by her experience of caring for her mother, who is losing herself to Alzheimer's disease, the book moves between memoir, literary criticism, and cultural history to argue that the deepest human bonds are not necessarily romantic. Solnit examines the love between friends, the intimacy of shared creative work, the strange connections between strangers who share a story, and the particular pain of loving someone who is disappearing. The book is also an argument against the cultural assumption that romantic love is the highest or most meaningful form of connection — a theme that runs through [[Middlemarch]], [[The Art of Loving]], and the entire cluster of notes in this framework. ## Key Takeaways **The Faraway Nearby (2013) – Storytelling as a Form of Love** This book blends memoir, literary criticism, and cultural [[History]] to explore **how human connections — especially intellectual and emotional ones — shape our identities**. **Synopsis:** • Solnit frames the book around **her complicated relationship with her mother**, who suffers from Alzheimer’s. • She weaves in stories of **artists, writers, and historical figures**, showing how [[storytelling]] itself can be an act of love and intellectual companionship. • The book rejects **the centrality of romantic [[Knowledge/Love]]** in favour of **[[Friendship]], artistic kinship, and the power of shared narratives**. • She discusses moments of **[[Knowledge/solitude]], intellectual connection, and creative inspiration**, suggesting that **these forms of intimacy often outlast romantic passion**. **Key Themes:** • **Storytelling as connection:** Instead of focusing on romantic relationships, Solnit explores how **shared stories and intellectual exchanges bind people together more deeply**. • **The endurance of intellectual love:** [[Knowledge/Relationships]] based on **shared thought, [[Creativity]], and deep conversation** often provide more meaning than fleeting passion. • **Companionship over romance:** The book highlights **friendship, artistic kinship, and familial bonds** rather than traditional love stories. **The Geography of Intimacy** Solnit’s title is a metaphor: the people we love most deeply are sometimes faraway (geographically, temporally, or in the sense that they are slipping away from us), and the people who seem most distant are sometimes the ones we connect with most profoundly through shared stories. A stranger’s story can create a bond more intimate than years of cohabitation. This challenges the assumption that proximity and familiarity equal intimacy — a theme that resonates with [[Mating in Captivity|Perel’s]] argument that familiarity is the enemy of desire, and with [[The One-Straw Revolution|Fukuoka’s]] insistence that what is most alive cannot be brought too close or controlled too tightly. **Loving the Disappearing Person** Solnit’s experience of her mother’s Alzheimer’s forces a question that romantic relationships often avoid: what does love look like when the person you love is no longer there? The mother who shared stories, jokes, and intellectual companionship is being replaced by someone who cannot recognise her. Solnit’s answer is not sentimental — love persists not because the object of love remains unchanged, but because the capacity to love is its own form of meaning. This connects to [[The Art of Loving|Fromm’s]] distinction between love as an orientation and love as a reaction to a specific object. When the object disappears, the orientation remains. ¥£¥£ **Connection to Eliot:** Like _[[Middlemarch]]_, _The Faraway Nearby_ challenges the **myth that romantic love is life’s ultimate purpose**, instead celebrating **the intellectual and emotional companionship found in friendships, family, and creative partnerships**. This resonates with [[The Art of Loving|Fromm's]] argument that brotherly love — concern for all human beings — is the foundation upon which all other forms of love are built, and with [[A General Theory of Love|the Liebmans']] claim that the self is relational, not confined to a single romantic partnership. --- **Related Notes:** [[Essays in Love]] | [[The Psychology of Romantic Love]] | [[Mating in Captivity]] | [[The Art of Loving]] | [[A General Theory of Love]] | [[The One-Straw Revolution]] | [[Arthur Schopenhauer]] ## Quotes - ## Notes `Concepts:` `Knowledge Base:`