`Author:` Alain de Botton `Availability:` > [!info] > ## Summary ## Key Takeaways **Essays in Love (1993) – The Ideal vs. The Reality of Love** This book is a blend of **philosophical reflection and fictional storytelling**, following a relationship from **infatuation to disillusionment** and ultimately, heartbreak. **Synopsis:** • The narrator falls deeply in love with **Chloe**, experiencing **the rush of idealised romance**. • Over time, **intellectual mismatches, insecurities, and unspoken expectations** erode the relationship. • The book examines how **love is often based on projections rather than true intellectual companionship**. • It concludes that **real connection is not about passion alone but about mutual growth, patience, and shared understanding**. **Key Themes:** • **The illusion of perfect romance:** Love often **begins with fantasy but requires work to become something deeper**. • **Intellectual connection vs. emotional need:** Passion fades when **partners fail to engage in deeper, shared thinking**. • **Love as a philosophical and psychological process:** Relationships require **self-awareness, compromise, and intellectual companionship to survive**. 💡 **Connection to Eliot:** Like _Middlemarch_, _Essays in Love_ shows that **romantic passion is fleeting if it lacks intellectual and emotional depth**—much like Dorothea’s disappointment with Casaubon. ## Quotes - ## Notes `Concepts:` `Knowledge Base:` [[Books index]]