Limerence is ==an involuntary state of intense romantic infatuation, obsession, and emotional dependence on another person==, known as the "limerent object" (LO). Coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979, it is characterized by intrusive thinking, a desperate craving for reciprocation, and mood swings ranging from ecstasy to despair. [[1](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence), [2](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/limerence), [3](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/limerence), [4](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/limerence)] **Key Characteristics and Symptoms** - **Involuntary Obsession:** Unlike a passing crush, limerence is a consuming, often unwanted, mental obsession. - **Intrusive Thoughts:** The mind is constantly preoccupied with the LO, often replaying conversations or imagining scenarios. - **Idealization:** The limerent person puts the LO on a pedestal, ignoring flaws and magnifying virtues. - **Uncertainty:** The intensity is driven by the uncertainty of whether the affection is returned. - **Physical Reactions:** Limerence often brings physical symptoms like heart palpitations, trembling, and anxiety. [[1](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1i40ds7/i_just_learned_what_limerence_is_and_it_was/), [2](https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/limerence-when-falling-love-doesnt-stop), [3](https://www.vogue.com/article/what-is-limerence), [4](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/limerence), [5](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/limerence), [6](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence), [7](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/limerence)] **Limerence vs. Love** Limerence is distinct from mature love. While love typically involves mutual affection, care, and a desire for the other’s well-being, limerence is primarily focused on the self-centered need to have one’s feelings returned. It is more akin to an addiction or craving than a stable relationship. [[1](https://livingwithlimerence.com/what-exactly-is-limerence/), [2](https://www.attachmentproject.com/love/limerence/), [3](https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/limerence), [4](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/limerence), [5](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Limerence)] **Stages of Limerence** 1. **Attraction:** The initial spark of interest. 2. **Obsession:** The thoughts become overwhelming and constant. 3. **Elation/Frustration:** Highs when interacting with the LO and lows when separated or rejected. 4. **Resolution:** The obsession fades, either through a relationship forming or the feeling dying out. [[1](https://www.wikihow.com/4-Stages-of-Limerence), [2](https://reachlink.com/advice/relationship/limerence-vs-love/), [3](https://www.tiktok.com/@sabrina.zohar/video/7518067917632589087?lang=en-GB), [4](https://www.attachmentproject.com/love/limerence/), [5](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/limerence)] **Causes and Context** Limerence can be related to early childhood attachment styles, particularly anxious attachment. It is not a formal mental health diagnosis, but it is often discussed in the context of addiction, anxiety, and obsessive behaviors. [[1](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/limerence), [2](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/limerence)]