Nonviolent Communication (NVC) is a framework developed by Marshall Rosenberg that offers a structured way of understanding human experience and communication. Its central insight is that all human behaviour is an attempt to meet universal needs, and that feelings are signals pointing toward whether those needs are being met or unmet. ## The Four Components **Observations** What is actually happening — separated as cleanly as possible from interpretation or evaluation. Not *you always ignore me* but *you didn't respond when I spoke just now.* **Feelings** The emotional response to what is observed. Genuine feelings (sad, anxious, angry) rather than thoughts disguised as feelings (*I feel like you don't care* is a thought, not a feeling). **Needs** The universal human need underneath the feeling. Needs in NVC are not strategies or requests — they are fundamental requirements for wellbeing that all humans share. See [[Feelings & Needs MOC]]. **Requests** A specific, doable, present-tense request — not a demand. The difference is that a genuine request can be declined without consequence to the relationship. ## The Core Distinction NVC draws a sharp line between *needs* and *strategies*. A need is universal — connection, safety, autonomy. A strategy is one particular way of attempting to meet that need. Conflict almost always happens at the level of strategies, not needs. Finding the need underneath the strategy often opens possibilities that the strategy-level conflict closes off. ## Feelings and Needs The most practically useful part of NVC for self- understanding is the feelings/needs connection. When a feeling arrives, the NVC question is always: *what need is this pointing toward?* See [[Feelings & Needs MOC]] for the full working system. ## Limitations NVC works best as an internal orientation rather than a script to apply literally in conversation. Using NVC language formulaically in heated situations often lands as clinical or evasive. The framework is most powerful when it has been internalised well enough to inform genuine expression rather than replace it. ## Key Texts - Marshall Rosenberg — *Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life* - Oren Jay Sofer — *Say What You Mean* ## Related Notes [[Feelings & Needs MOC]] | [[The Pause Protocol]] [[Focusing - Gendlin]]