# Intellectual comradeship: **Philosophers & Thinkers** • **Plato** (_Symposium_ & _Phaedrus_) – Plato’s concept of _philia_ (deep friendship) and _platonic love_ suggests that intellectual and spiritual bonds are superior to physical relationships. In _Symposium_, he presents the idea that love should move beyond physical desire toward a shared pursuit of truth and wisdom. • **Arthur Schopenhauer** – He viewed sexual desire as a temporary and often irrational force, arguing that deeper companionship, particularly through shared intellectual or artistic pursuits, could be more meaningful. • **Simone de Beauvoir & Jean-Paul Sartre** – Their relationship was based on mutual intellectual engagement rather than traditional romantic exclusivity, emphasizing companionship through shared ideas. **Books & Literature** • **Rainer Maria Rilke – Letters to a Young Poet** – Rilke advises the young poet to cultivate deep friendships and personal growth rather than being consumed by fleeting romantic passions. • **Virginia Woolf – A Room of One’s Own** – While not explicitly about companionship, Woolf suggests that a life of the mind and creative independence is more enduring than traditional romantic attachments. • **George Eliot – [[Middlemarch]]** – The novel contrasts marriages based on intellectual compatibility with those based on fleeting attraction, showing that the former leads to more lasting fulfillment. • **Christopher Hitchens – Hitch-22** – Hitchens writes about the value of deep friendships, especially with fellow thinkers, as more meaningful than transient romantic or sexual relationships. • **Haruki Murakami – Various Novels** – His characters often find more solace in deep, introspective conversations than in traditional romantic connections. **Historical Figures Who Lived This Idea** • **Hannah Arendt & Martin Heidegger** – Despite their complicated personal relationship, Arendt ultimately found greater intellectual companionship in figures like Karl Jaspers. • **C.S. Lewis & the Inklings (J.R.R. Tolkien, etc.)** – A group that valued intellectual and creative exchange over traditional social bonds. • **Susan Sontag & Annie Leibovitz** – Though they had a romantic relationship, their intellectual and artistic partnership was arguably the foundation of their connection. # The idea that genuine relating transcends surface qualities, such as appearances or status games, has been explored by various philosophers, psychologists, and thinkers across time. Here are some perspectives and relevant ideas: Existential Philosophy • Martin Buber: Buber’s concept of I-Thou relationships in I and Thou (1923) emphasizes that true connection happens when people encounter each other authentically, as whole beings, rather than as objects to be used (I-It relationships). Such connections go beyond appearances or superficial markers. • Jean-Paul Sartre: In Being and Nothingness (1943), Sartre discusses how humans often relate to others through “bad faith,” presenting themselves or perceiving others based on societal roles or status rather than authenticity. Phenomenology • Emmanuel Levinas: Levinas suggests that genuine relationships begin with an ethical encounter with the Other, rooted in responsibility and respect for their intrinsic humanity rather than their surface characteristics or social standing. Depth Psychology • Carl Jung: Jung’s theories highlight the importance of engaging with the Self and recognising the depth of others’ inner worlds. Surface-level interactions tied to the ego or persona fail to access deeper connections. • Erich Fromm: Fromm’s The Art of Loving (1956) critiques relationships based on status, power, or physical attraction. He argues that love is rooted in care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge, focusing on the essence of the other person rather than their surface. Social Critique and Cultural Analysis • Theodor Adorno and Max Horkheimer: In Dialectic of Enlightenment (1944), they analyse how consumer culture and capitalist systems encourage surface-level, instrumental relationships that prioritise status and appearance over genuine connection. • Simone de Beauvoir: In The Second Sex (1949), Beauvoir explores how societal structures reduce individuals—especially women—to roles defined by status or physical appearance, undermining authentic relating. Modern Thinkers • Alain de Botton: In books like The Course of Love (2016), de Botton explores how modern relationships often falter because people focus on superficial ideals rather than understanding the deeper, flawed, but meaningful humanity of others. • Brené Brown: In her research on vulnerability and connection, Brown argues that authentic relationships require courage to go beyond appearances and status games, embracing imperfection and shared humanity. Spiritual Perspectives • Eastern Philosophy (Buddhism): Buddhist teachings often highlight the impermanence and illusory nature of surface attributes (e.g., physical beauty, wealth). True relating is found in recognising interconnectedness and cultivating compassion for others. • Sufism (Rumi): Rumi’s poetry often speaks of love and connection as transcending physical and societal distinctions, aiming for a deeper spiritual unity.